Heavenly Cookies at Schaumburg High School

The SHS chocolate chip cookie–warm, gooey, chocolate chips within a small circular containment of sugary dough. Sounds like any other chocolate chip cookie, right? WRONG! The SHS cafeteria cookie, sold at the cafeteria snack bar, is a chocolate chip cookie unparalleled, unrivaled. While the current freshman and sophmores may be unaware due to the pandemic, current juniors and seniors will understand the heavenly aroma and taste of the cafeteria chocolate chip cookie here at Schaumburg High School.

What makes the cookie so special you may ask? Some would merely say that it is because it is a classic, but only few who can truly understand the greatness of the cookie will say that it is due to the addictive sugary taste of the cookie. Words can not adequately describe the transcendent nature of the cookie. It is pure blasphemy to even try to describe the cookie. Delicious, delectable, ambrosial–words simply fall short. It is outright irresponsible to even attempt to limit them to language. It is understandable that the cookie cannot be described with further detail…but that is truly the nature of all that is deemed heavenly in this mortal world. 

The cookie cannot be recreated. There have been several attempts throughout human history to replicate the SHS cookie. A simple Google search reveals results for “The Best Chocolate Chip Cookie Recipe Ever.” I scoff at such lunacy! It can be confirmed that the recipe behind the school cafeteria cookie is a prized possession worth more than what can be imagined. Students can unanimously agree that the cafeteria chocolate chip cookie is a high school experience that no one should miss out on, topping homecoming, due to the satisfaction it brings for a mere fifty cents.

A current senior Megan Crook comments, “They are truly amazing cookies that I didn’t expect to find in a High School cafeteria.”

I have to concur with such a statement, as I have been eating these cookies since freshman year and have yet to stop. Nor do I intend to do so. 

The chocolate chip cookie is a high school miracle and something every student cannot pass by, if they intend to have a true high school experience. While the addiction may be real, it is real for the right reasons. So everyone should start saving up those quarters because these cookies are irresistible.